Transplanted Life
Friday, August 18, 2006
Scary things
"Watching" the Sox game on Gameday right now is driving me up a freakin' wall. The Red Sox have no business being behind a team whose pitcher just abjectly refuses to throw strikes. Maybe it's not quite so frustrating watching it on TV, but when it's wait... ball.. wait... ball... mouse over to see that, yes, Wang has thrown twice as many balls as strikes... These things should be translating into runs.

And I can't look away, because I've got a query that's taking forever to run, and then failing, and then taking forever to run again after I fix the error. So there's no just paying attention to my work like a good girl and maybe occasionally getting a peek. Nope, this is just constant torture.

Anyway, the actual scary thing for this week was having my period come three days late. Thankfully, it did come, because I do still find pregnancy scarier than regularly scheduled internal bleeding, and as much as I'm very fond of little Marty and Eloise (even if I haven't actually met little Marty ex utero), I'm in no way ready to give them playmates. I'm closer, in that I can now at least conceive of myself pregnant, but I think I want a couple more years of single unattached girl before I become someone's mother. Jen asks if I don't feel like time's running out, but like I tell her, I made it almost to thirty once without settling down that way, and I don't see any reason why I can't do it again.

I'm not sure what's scarier, though - the feeling of unease you get when your period is late, or the very idea that it's such a reliable thing. I'm lucky in that mine doesn't particularly hurt or flood my brain with personality-altering hormones, but when you get right down to it, why should I be able to buy an appointment book at the beginning of the year and mae an annotation every thirty days, and generally have the one in December only be off by a day or two, if that? It's a biological processs; shouldn't my diet and other activities have more of an effect? I know it can in extreme conditions (I saw a documentary a few months ago where an anorexic mentioned her periods had stopped because her body was so messed up), but just a little more variation.


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