Tuesday, September 06, 2005
What a fine Labor Day
Saw a few more potential people about the apartment this weekend. I'm starting to wonder if I should be a little less forthcoming about my history. It's a fine line; I don't really want to come across as a freak, but I don't want to have my new roommate feel like they've been tricked when one of my friends talks about it, either. Besides, I said I was through hiding over a year ago, although I'm beginning to wonder if "not hiding" is as far as I need to take it. After all, I haven't asked any of them about their sexual identities.
Still, there are a couple of leads who seem either accepting or intrigued by the idea of living with someone of my experiences. Hopefully I'll be able to get things sorted by the end of the week.
Telly was disappointed that I didn't want to head north for a family cook-out thing. We haven't exactly become close since he moved down here, but I like the kid, and most of the time we get on pretty well. But telling him I had the apartment thing going on didn't deter him, and when I said that I didn't want to spend half of my long weekend traveling north hurts him a bit. Even though he's been pretty good about calling me Marti lately, he still looks at me as Michelle trying to start a new life, and it bothers him when I snub the family; as much as he jokes about our biological mother - and his jokes are bitter and often angry - he wants us to be a family. And I'm not up for that, at least not yet. I like the idea of having a brother, but don't treat him much differently than any other friend. I've seen Mo with her siblings, and even at their worst I know the relationship is closer.
But, no reason to let that spoil a beautiful holiday. I honestly think yesterday, the unofficial end of summer, was the most beautiful day of the season, which is odd. I spent most of it with Chet and some of his friends, who are filtering back for college and grad school. We actually have more fun when they're around, since he likes to show me off and their nerdiness fits with mine. A girl who can argue the merits of the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica is a goddess among certain groups, after all.
Getting back to work today was definitely a drag. I've got an interview after work on Thursday, my first real "Marti who used to be Martin" one. I'm not yet sure whether it should excite or terrify me - the idea of having my ability to earn a living rest upon my ability to convince someone that the last two years of my life are real is kind of absurd, when you get right down to it.