Monday, August 07, 2006
I am a high-maintenance girlfriend
I don't mean to be; it's not a goal I've set for myself. And I don't do the sorts of things I've always associated with demanding women. I don't expect presents, or get mopey when a guy forgets an anniversery (though I should really try having a relationship last long enough for it to be a year anniversery rather than the month type); I don't mind splitting a check, and have zero interest in flowers. A guy wants to do something with his friends, it's no big deal; I can find something else to do.
Makes me sound pretty easy-going, right? I mean, that's how I like to think of myself, but that's not always the case. I've got a bad habit of taking my coolness for granted, so to speak. My tastes are more in line with what guys like than the typical girl, so I tend to assume that when I want to do something, it's likely to be something that the guy I'm with wants to do. And then, since I'm kind of attractive, a lot of guys want to please me on top of that. Not in an "I've got the world wrapped around my little finger" way. It's almost more insidious - I suggest something, and Alex maybe isn't really enthused, but it doesn't sound bad, so why not? Martin's been there, and didn't even recognize that it was happening until after resentment's built up like something toxic.
And now I'm doing it, without realizing it. I mean, I can see Alex wasn't really hugely enthused about Fantasia, but he can't really make an argument against Montreal and a bunch of good movies, right? So he goes along, and enjoys himself, but that's a bunch of time that he might have used another way. I don't mean to, and I don't think I'm really being a bitch, just kind of self-centered. And if he says yes, it's only natural to assume he means it.
Maybe I'm overreacting because he didn't seem terribly enthused about the movie I wanted to see last night. But I know about this from his side, and I like him, so I should probably try and make a little more of an effort.