Transplanted Life
Friday, August 12, 2005
For other people, it would just be looking silly.
Sat on my leg funny while reading on the bus today. Since it wasn't terribly crowded, I didn't have to move much, so I really didn't notice I was cutting off the blood flow from my knee down. End result, my leg's asleep, and when it comes time to get off the bus, I fall on my butt because it just doesn't seem to respond when I try to put my weight on it, and then I look like a fool trying to walk away.

This happens every once in a while, because I can be sort of absent-minded, and it happened to me a lot in my previous life, too. But every time it happens now, all I can think is, great, those nano-things have started to cause nerve damage after a couple years. Within ten minutes, everything's fine, and I know I should stop worrying about it, but who knows the long-term effects of this stuff? There's no reason to think I won't be in a wheelchair by the time I'm forty, or thirty-five, or ten, or however you want to reckon my age. After all, those nanos are still attached to my nerve cells - that's why they can tell how long it's been since someone has done the ol' switcheroo; they enter the bloodstream as they "fall off" the brain. Having a bunch of itty-bitty machines attached to one's central nervous system can't be healthy.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Weekend movie stuff
Wound up just staying in Friday night, watching DVDs with Mo and Anna. That's always awkward, since they tend to want inoffensive stuff and there just isn't much of that made today. I'm not mocking them for it, we've all got our own individual tastes and they don't happen to find swearing and violence entertaining. And, really, good for them. Turn it around and the result is "I enjoy watching people get beat up while using crude, unimaginitive language". Which point of view sounds more defensible?

I suspect that they do find sex entertaining, or at the very least wouldn't complain about a little T&A, but aren't going to admit to this in front of other people. Part of it's just being raised to disapprove of overt sexuality on principle, and part is that Anna's still got one foot in the closet and neither of them wants to draw attention to how they like girls. It's really kind of weird spending time with them, even beyond the whole third-wheel thing, because even though I think I've done a pretty good job of establishing my heterosexual credentials, I still notice that they're good-looking women and thoughts do cross my mind. I know Maureen had a crush on me for a while, and they both give me weird looks sometimes, like they're wondering just how far I am from going for them.

We wound up watching the first two Thin Man movies, which they hadn't seen before, and though they aren't real classic film buffs, the second one kind of dropped their jaws because they couldn't conceive of how against-type (not saying) was, even though that type wasn't established until later.

Saturday was spent with Chet and his friends. It's funny, I asked Mo and Anna how I looked before leaving, and they're too afraid of having something taken sexually that all they'd say is "nice". Chet, though, will say my breasts look kind of asymmetrical (a sundress with a plunging neckline can do that). I adjust my bra until it meets with his approval and we head out.

I admit, I enjoy some of the looks my cleavage gets me. Some of my guy friends don't get that, especially Kurt, who remembers how hard I'd work to de-emphasize my chest when we were going out two years ago. Sure, it was two years ago, and over that time I've come to feel a lot more ownership of my body and put more work into maintaining my figure. Not like Carter does (Michelle had better genes than Martin did, that's for sure), but I swim once or twice a week and don't mind walking for an hour to see a ninety minute movie. And, hey, I've noticed how much Chet enjoys having guys look at his girlfriend, as a reflection on his virility.

Not like I don't remember doing the same thing. Course, Maggie didn't go for me getting her sexy outfits much. I readily admit, it's a shallow thing for a guy to do, but it's pretty harmless. That thing I wore on Saturday was absolutely something Chet had gotten me as a belated birthday present, for instance. Now, if I were in his shoes and dating me, I'd have gone for sexy underwear, but I always did like to push my luck.

We wound up seeing Wedding Crashers, which I greatly enjoyed. It's crude as all get-out, but I enjoyed the cynical take on weddings. Lord knows it's something I wish I'd had the guts to try in my previous life. Understand, you'll never hear me badmouthing the institution of marriage, but I stand by the declaration that the wedding ritual is a scam.

I wound up liking it way more than Chet, for that matter. I can't imagine what Maureen and Anna would think of it. (Actually, I can, but why ruin the mood?)

Sunday's movie was Godzilla: Final Wars at the Brattle. Chet and I had already seen it at Fantasia, but our friends hadn't. Let me just say that if someone's not already a fan of the kaiju (hi, Kate), this movie isn't going to make them one.


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