Transplanted Life
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Travesties of justice
Revenge of the Sith not even NOMINATED for the Best Visual Effects Oscar? Come ON. I liked King Kong as much as anyone, if not more so, but I really wonder how someone could watch that opening scene and not say, wow, that's one of the very best bits of effects work of the year, and we're only five minutes in. And the way they're building whole worlds, that's amazing. And, especially, when you consider that both previous prequels, which were similar kinds of astonishing in how every scene had effects work and both lost to inferior films which did the same sort of thing but didn't do nearly so much of it.

That's the sort of thing I was IMing back and forth to Kate today. We are, of course, trying to figure out our plan of attack for seeing what we've missed. My most glaring solo omission is Crash, while neither of us has seen Brokeback Mountain; Kate hasn't seen Good Night and Good Luck.

Kate thinks it's funny that I haven't seen Transamerica yet, but truth be told, I don't think I'd identify with stories about transsexuals as much as people think I would. I wind up feeling bad about myself, like these people have spent a great deal of money and time trying to match their bodies with their self-images, while I didn't exactly commit to a struggle for very long. On my less good-natured days, I think they're making a lot of effort in the wrong direction. But different people need different things, I guess.

Meanwhile, I'm not seeing Mikail Korpin around absolutely every corner any more. I'm not sure whether that's good or bad; what's the line between a healthy concern and being paranoid in this situation? Hell if I know.

You say paranoid like that's a bad thing. Given the shit that's gone down to you, and around you, I'd think a certain amount of paranoia is downright sane.

Of course, you might want to ask yourself just what on earth Korpin is up to. I mean, it's a pretty odd thing, for him to be anywhere near you. He's got to know that you're onto him, and that the FBI's onto his basic trail, and all that. I gotta tell you, if he thought he was going to go to ground by "playing shelly" he's has to know that's a really, really bad idea. And, as I posted a week or two back, he ought to have known he was going to get caught all along. Wonky, and wonky ought to make you nervous.

- Z
Constant Vigilance!

Oh, and you might want to check your Vermont contacts (you do have such by now, right? You'll have to route around Telly for now) to make sure the folks there are caught up on current events. It wouldn't surprise me to find Korpin there, comfortably one step ahead of the warning-wave and confidently plotting body- and organ-harvesting in New England's hinterlands.
"On my less good-natured days, I think they're making a lot of effort in the wrong direction. But different people need different things, I guess."

I'm just curious - what exactly is this supposed to mean? It almost sounds like you're making a "biology is destiny" argument, based on your own experiences, but considering how much influence you feel your female brain chemistry has had on your joined persona...isn't it possible that we're talking about chemistry here, as well? There has been some inconclusive research that's pointed to a biological cause for gender dysphoria, after all.
Not so much "biology is destiny" as your body is part of who you are, and that to hate it is to hate yourself. That's not to say that you should be a total slave to your physicality; as Martin, I made an effort to keep weight off because I knew my body wouldn't shed it readily, and I didn't like being heavy or looked down on. I do a certain amount of the same thing now, although it's both easier and harder: Michelle Garber's metabolism works better than Martin Hartle's, but the standard for girls is higher.

But to say something like "I'm a man trapped in a woman's body" or "this is what I SHOULD be" seems silly to me, even if I do have those thoughts a lot. That body is an integral part of who you are.

Again, it's just my weird perspective. I've found that trying to be something other than what I am correlates pretty well with being unhappy; being the best me that I can be isn't often easier, but doesn't lead to misery.

And, yeah, it's a fine line between the two ideas.
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