Transplanted Life
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Good interview
Heh, why couldn't that follow-up interview downtown have been on Friday? Even with the snow, I could have walked home afterward if the T gave me any trouble. But, unfortunately things don't always line up the way you'd like.

I think that there's a pretty good chance I've got the job - how's that for equivocation? I imagine that not a whole lot of other people got the same questions that I did, although I must admit that the VP of IS that I talked to was charming enough. He mentioned that the company had some experience with my unique situation, since Carter had come clean about his background earlier this year. Carter had been hired under the name Martin Hartle, after all. Though in his personal life he had used "Carter", he had left all his legal paperwork filed under "H", just for convenience's sake. At the same I started trying to lay claim to my life-experience, there was a .NET project that "Martin Hartle" wasn't qualified for, but for which "Carter Drummond" had ample experience.

The guy looks at me at that point, and says he had almost fired Carter on the spot. He's really staring at me, saying that they did not appreciate hiring someone based upon a stolen résumé, even if he was legally and biologically Martin Hartle. It was damn lucky that one of "Martin"'s co-workers knew someone who knew someone who worked at BioSoft before the scandal destroyed it; otherwise they'd have felt very strange about believing the story they were spun. The unspoken question, of course, is whether this is the same situation; am I who I say I am. I say I am, that there are people at the FBI who can produce evidence that this mind was switched into this body, and there are tests they can run to show that there have been no switches since. The man shakes his head, saying he knows, but that this is a potential nightmare situation for Human Resources, trying to verify things. I tell him that Homeland Security and the FBI don't like it much either, and he says he doesn't envy them.

Then he stares at me a little, and I'm like, let me guess, you've got questions you want to ask but you're afraid of getting slapped with sexual harassment or employment discrimination crap. He says he can't possibly respond to that, and I'm like, look, it's only natural to be curious, and you've got every right to know just what you're throwing into your workforce. Especially since Carter's attitudes may not be a good predictor of mine. He sees himself as basically the same person he was two years ago, whereas I look at it differently - I remember being Martin Hartle, but I know that I'm not him any more. I've got a different brain, a different biochemistry, different physiology that makes me more confident in some areas and less confident in others. My orientation is heterosexual, but I will not be looking for office romance. I do not intend to hide my history from any new co-workers, but also don't intend to bring it up unless it's relevant, and I honestly don't know when that would be since, as I said, I'm not looking for office romance. I may miss time on short notice to assist the FBI with their investigations.

And, I said, I'm settled in this identity. This is who I've been for almost two and a half years, and if the original Michelle re-appears, I do not intend to switch back, although I doubt that it would even be an option. I honestly didn't plan to say that; I'd only meant to convince him that, despite the sometimes crazy body-hopping that has gone on for some of us, I can be counted upon. But, it is true. I hope Michelle's not too disappointed if (s)he is reading this.

He looks overwhelmed, and quickly steers the conversation back to more prosaic concerns, which is probably a relief. I think I do OK there.

And I think I got the job. After all, they've already hired one guy based on my résumé, and if they would hire Carter and not me - well, that's just total sexism, isn't it?

"And I think I got the job. After all, they've already hired one guy based on my résumé, and if they would hire Carter and not me - well, that's just total sexism, isn't it?"

LOL - Unless they're not hiring for the position... which is, obviously, not the case.
Why exactly do you not want to give her her body back? Has all this time as a girl made you forget who you really are, a man?
Has all this time as a girl made you forget who you really are, a man?

Ah, the impersonality of the internet, where I can't unbutton my shirt and say "do men have these?" I'm not the prettiest girl, but you'd feel absurd saying that to my face, assuming that you were even looking at my face.

Seriously, though, I've forgotten nothing. It's just a matter of how you define identity. I, personally, can't help but consider my physical body part of who I am. How I look affects my interactions with others, the physical structure of my brain and the chemicals released within affect the way I think, and so on.

Any claim I have on being a man is based on experience, which isn't nothing - I consider Martin Hartle's experiences and relationships mine and talking about "him" in the third person is always strange - but I do consider myself a discrete individual, and that individual is female.
This may seem irrelevant but how old do you think your readers are? They must be near their 30's at least.
Marti- I know you have to try real hard to keep up the integrity of this blog by not making it a sex story, but I can't believe you haven't had a day in the past few years when you just looked in the mirror standing there in your bra and panties, and thought, what the @#$*! You don't seem to say much about how, no matter hard hard you try to be a woman, you were not always one.
I always have been a woman, considering my birthdate as 19 July 2003. Sure, I remember being a man, but that's not all me.

Sure, some things do occasionally weird me out, but how often do you look in the mirror and think, wow, I went through a big change two and a half years ago? If you're married for three years, do you wake up and think you should be single? Or expect to be heading to class a couple years after graduation? Life changes are big deals, but they're things we get used to.

I tend to notice the difference when it's something I haven't acclimated to. Like, wearing earrings - even magnetic ones - to interviews and stuff. Then it's a big-time reminder and snaps me out of my complacency, but otherwise, it's been a while since I've really found my body weird.
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