Transplanted Life
Monday, September 19, 2005
Not broken up, but...
It started last weekend, and that fight was probably my fault. Chet and I were talking about how Kurt had proposed to Denise, and he was asking if that was weird for me. A little, I said, but I've had other exes get married. Besides, if not for all the weird stuff, we'd probably be celebrating their first anniversery around now. Hell, I probably would have been best man at the wedding. But it's sweet, I say, laying my head on his shoulder - they really love each other and weren't afraid to swallow their pride despite all the me-related crap that their relationship got hit with.

He kind of smiles, and says he hopes I don't plan to get married any time soon. And I, true to my history of saying stupid things when the subject of matrimony comes up, say "no, I don't see us getting married".

I can be such a complete ass. What I meant, at the time, honest, is that I don't see myself getting married. Putting on a white dress, having the discussion over whether or not to change my name, wearing a ring that says I'm taken, joint ownership of stuff... I recognize that I'm a hypocrite, because this stuff didn't bother me in my last life, but, hey, I'm not quite Martin.

And I say that, but then he's all "so, you're sure I won't change your mind". When just minutes before he was the one who was poo-poo-ing the whole idea of getting married. And I'm like, well, maybe if our relationship becomes more of a traditional boy-girl thing. Then he's like, well, it was pretty boy-girl last night, wasn't it And by this time I'm pissed, because I get pissed off easily, especially when someone seems to be changing his or her position just for the sake of arguing, so I ask whether he figures to marry every girl he sleeps writh, rather than say something not quite honest about his performance. It's a stupid argument, and I know it's stupid, and it doesn't last much longer. I think the fact that I at no point talked about us moving in together once I knew Mo was moving out factored in too.

So, OK, we cool down. Then this weekend, we're hanging around with Kate and Carter - we were going to see a movie, but we missed it, and there was nothing playing that none of us had seen, so we were just walking around - and I don't even remember where the conversation was going, but Chet sort of jokingly calls me his little freak or something, and Carter doesn't take it well. It's a word he can use but others can't, you see. So he goes off on Chet, Chet recalls that Kate was the one who thought he was gay, and it gets ugly. We all say stupid things, and...

Screw it. I don't want to talk about it right now.

OK, so you don't want to talk about fighting with Chet. Fair enough. So... What happaned at the next job interview?

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