Transplanted Life
Friday, September 02, 2005
 
I feel like the star of a reality show
So, tonight, we had the first episode of "So You Want to be Marti's Roommate". Chet was electing to help some friends move back into their apartment, so no special guest judges tonight. I joke around, but I want to get this done quickly, because having to pay the entire rent bill for a two-bedroom apartment sucks hard. And, it's no fun for them to be in limbo, either - I've been there.

Our first contestant tonight was Eve. She'll turn 23 Christmas Eve (hence the name), is an economics grad student at Harvard, and needs to find an apartment because she broke up with her boyfriend and even if their apartment was big enough for two beds, she's still not sure where she stands on the "being friends" thing. All of this information came out in one long, run-on sentence. I don't know whether that's just the way she always talks or if she's the type that tends to babble when meeting new people.

She seems nice enough, though. She asked me if I had a boyfriend, and when I said yes, said I was a stronger woman than her for scheduling stuff like this for Friday night, because no way she would have given Jamal that kind of opportunity, not that all guys cheat, or that it stopped him anyway, and maybe if she'd given him a little more breathing room it would have turned out differently, but water under the bridge, right? I let her look at both rooms, since I wouldn't mind moving into the larger bedroom if someone only wants to shell out for the smaller one. It was actually pretty cool to have some girl I'd never met say she liked my taste in clothes; I always wonder whether anything complimentary that Kate, Jen, Mo or Wei says has a silent "at least, it's good considering she really should have a penis" after it. Of course, she has her own reason to be disingenuous, but I chose to mostly take her comments about understanding how tough it is for us busty types to dress sexy without looking kind of trashy. We could actually share clothes, since she's like a photographic negative of me (dark skin and dyed-blond hair), although I think Kate was just joking when she said that was something I should look for.

I did tell her about my history, which I figured was not just fair, but necessary: Although there will be weeks-long stretches where nanites, mind-swaps, name changes, and personal identity don't have much effect on my life, it's not something I try to hide any more, and better she hears about it beforehand than when Carter offhandedly asks about allergies and the like. At first, she thought I was talking about sexual reassignment surgery, and quickly covered being grossed out with wanting to know the name of the surgeon ("not that I need any work, but if he can make you out of a man, then that's a name to keep in mind in case I'm horribly disfigured someday"). When I explained everything, she laughed, asking if it was some kind of a test. I told her she didn't have to believe it - heck, Michelle's little brother doesn't - but it's stuff that's going to be floating around the house, and there's the slight chance of finding herself in the middle of something "interesting".

Don't think she liked the sound of that. She was gregarious enough, but I kind of get the feeling she won't be calling back.

Ian, on the other hand... First off, I wasn't sure about checking off that I didn't care about the sex on the online roommate services. Sure, I remember sharing apartments and dorm rooms with guys before, but that was before I had a vagina of my own. Now, I know most guys are trustworthy and would probably be just as polite and non-aggressive as my present lesbian roommate. Just takes the one for it to be a huge problem, though, doesn't it?

It started off cool, though. His first glimpse was toward my breasts, of course, but after shaking my hand he looked me in the eyes pretty solidly. I gave him the minute tour ("kitchen... living room... soon-to-be-empty room..."), and I was about to point out the laundry area when something clicked in his head, and he's like "wait a minute... are you Martina from 'Transplanted Life'?"

"Uh.... yeah."

"Wow, that's like... I love your blog! I started one, and after I got bored I tried to do the same thing, you know, adding stuff to it to make it exciting, but..."

That's when I told him I don't add much other than changing a few names, and he's all like "get out! All that stuff happens in real life?"

In mine, at last.

"That's awesome... I mean, I didn't think there was that kind of technology in the world, and I've never had anything interesting like that happen..."

"Dude, someone took a shot at me, and someone else died right in front of me in April. And knowing people before and after a switch is creepy."

Anyway, I don't know if I'll be calling him back. It's cool that he'll be okay with me being who and what I am, but I don't know about the enthusiasm.

-Marti
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Note: This blog is a work of fantasy; all characters are either ficticious or used ficticiously. The author may be contacted at JaySeaver@comcast.net