Transplanted Life
Monday, August 01, 2005
Damn Kate for putting the idea in my head
Last week, Kate dropped this idea on me, which was absurd when I first heard it but tended to eat at me. What she said, basically, was that she got a weird vibe off Chet at the birthday party the previous day - that there had always been something a little off about him, but this sort of put it into relief for her. I said, well, yeah, he's into me despite knowing about my history. Kate laughed a little at that, but said that's the thing - she thinks he's going out with me not in spite of how I kind of used to be a guy, but because of it.

Apparently I'd been having too much fun to notice, but Carter told Kate that he thought Chet was giving him an eye. At first, Kate told him that he was just paranoid - his memories of being in Samantha Haskins's body aren't happy ones, and Kate says he sometimes thinks guys are giving him the once-over, like a vet having flashbacks. But then she found herself on the lookout for it, and she thought that maybe, maybe, my boyfriend could have been scoping hers out.

Which I didn't want to hear, obviously. Who would? I mean, I think I would have noticed it, right? But it festers in my head, and I start thinking of how Chet and I always seem to have more fun doing "guy stuff" - watching ballgames, going to action movies, getting a home network or home theater wired up, that sort of thing - than more traditional boy/girl stuff. Part of that's me - I don't get excited about flowers or go mushy over jewelry or want to spend hours looking at shoes when we go shopping - but I do expect to be treated like a woman sometimes, even if no-one else is around.

So, that bugged me most of the week. I asked Jen if she thought there was anything to what Kate had said on Wednesday, but if there was, she hadn't seen it. Of course, she joked about being an old married woman now and just not paying attention to that sort of thing anymore.

Friday night, Chet and I go out, see a movie, and head back to his apartment since, I remind him, there's not many weekends left until his roommate returns for the fall semester. Yeah, it crosses my mind that I'm the one initiating sex. But we have fun hanging out the next day, laughing when I tell him about Kate's "theory". We get dinner and head back to his apartment, where he totally makes the first move.

I saw Kate again last night - Harvard Film Archive again, The Freshman and The Sin of Harold Diddlebock - and I tell her she made me crazy for a week, but I don't think it's much to worry about.

But, of course, it's what's on my mind right now, when I really should be working.

Excuse me, you're worried about what now? He's not gay or he wouldn't be into you. Maybe he's bi. That's what you need surely? So he likes that you like guy things. Are you worried he may only like you for your mind and not for your body? You don't like to think he might be checking out other guys. If he was checking out other girls would that be better?

Otoh does he really seem less interested in sex than previously? Would this count as a Suspicious Change in Behaviour? (Not trying to make you paranoid btw. Or not more than normal anyway.)
The way I see it, he likes you for you; everything you are. There's nothing wrong with that, especially not if you have confidence in yourself (and I think it's abundantly clear that you do.)

It's not like he has a foot fetish or anything.

One wonders whether there aren't six billion sexualities in the world, with terminology like straight, gay, or whatever used only very roughly to group 'em.
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