Thursday, July 15, 2004
Nice not to have to be in to work until late
I know I should be more anxious to get a real job with a non-sucky salary, but I must admit that it can be very nice to never have to be in to work until 10:30 at the earliest. I get the bathroom to myself the mornings when Carter has the morning shift, and I can dress how I want without either of my roommates giving me a hard time about wanting to expose skin on an eighty-degree day. Or Carter getting all freaky about me undressing in front of him or not scampering away when he dresses within my vision. And when the Sox play on the west coast, I can stay up to see the whole thing without worrying about torpedoing the next day.
Got a call from Doug tonight; he wanted to know if things were weird between us after last weekend. I suppose if you're asking the question at all, then, yes, things are weird. Not what I said to him, though - I just said that we're not teenagers who have to be on the phone to each other all the time. He works long hours, I work different hours, we don't have that much time together. It's not that big a deal. I told him I had tomorrow night off if he wants to see a movie and not bring me back to my apartment. Sounds good to him, so I guess we'll be doing that.
There are some definite downsides to a relationship with a guy who knows my history, though - like when he asks "what would you have done differently Saturday night?" I mean, geez, how do you avoid bruising his ego there? You say "nothing" and, well, get ready for all sex to be awkward. I doubt he's going to buy that "sex as man" and "sex as woman" are sequestered in my mind, even if it is true to a certain extent. I mean, even if the organs involved are sort of the same thing exposed to different hormones in the womb, they don't feel the same. So I wind up telling him that I was, in fact, a rather selfish lover and thus wouldn't want to give him any ideas.
I don't think this really satisfies him, or looks like anything but the evasion that it is, but we mutually agree that we don't particularly want to talk about it on the phone. Too bad, I was kind of hoping we could get it out of our systems before going out tomorrow.
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