Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Buttering me up
"So," I asked, "are you getting along with the other kids?"
Carter gave me a mean look when I greeted him with that, though he said the day went better. But, he asks, is this how it all starts? You just try to get people to leave you alone and eventually you wind up wearing heels, putting on makeup, and letting a man stick his penis in you? I tell him I didn't go to high school like this, so I don't know how it starts in general. As for me, I just got told to fit in or else. Same result, though.
So, when do you think I'll start wishing these tits were bigger, he asked bitterly. I told him there was no need for that, since jugs like the ones I've got can be a pain and a half. Besides, that'd be no more useful than moping about not being a man. Just learn to be cool with the body you've got. After all, there's a good chance you'll be there for another sixty years.
"Don't say that - I'm having enough trouble with waking up like this tomorrow, much less for twenty thousand days afterward!"
That was it for a while, until he turned on the TV to SportsCenter for NBA Finals stuff, and a beer commercial showed up. I forget what one of the girls was wearing, but he said "there's some stuff like that in the closet. What's it like, dressing and acting like that?" I asked him if he wanted to try, and he said no, not in an appalled or protests-too-much way, but just disbelieving. "I can't imagine it. I get what you said yesterday, but making the leap to just flaunting like that..."
I told him about being the fat kid in school and liking the attention. I told him about once I'd discovered sex could be fun, I had a couple hedonistic weeks until I got a scare. "I guess it's like dress... what is it, blues in the Air Force? It feels good to have people like the way you look. That's all. Sometimes it might lead to something nice, too. But that's me. Doesn't have to be your thing."
Then he told me I was really great to do this and not push, though I didn't see what the big deal was; he'd do the same for me. He doesn't think he'd be in any position to help himself, let alone someone else, but he's a better guy than that. But he told me, no, I was special.
Of course, then he asked if we could watch the NBA instead of the Sox tonight, and I couldn't exactly argue. I did tell him it was something I remembered girlfriends doing to me all the time, though.
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