Saturday, May 15, 2004
All I Know About Being A Girl I Learned From The Movies
I was surprised and pleased to see Carter show up at BioSoft yesterday; I think it was the first time he'd left the apartment on his own since being released from the hospital. He wanted to know what I was up to after work, and I told him I didn't have any plans. He figured maybe we could go see a movie, which always sounds good to me.
So he sat in the lobby, reading trade magazines for a half hour. Maureen gave him a look, but pretty much left Carter alone when I said he was just waiting for me to get off work. Afterward, he said it was really strange to not have people recognize him. Folks he'd known for months passed by, vaguely recognized him as Dmitri's jailbait girlfriend - although even then, it took a second look; Samantha's actually a natural blonde, and when she'd been with Dmitri, she'd had her hair dyed black and gone kind of heavy on the make-up. I don't know whether it was just some weird goth-subculture thing or an attempt to look more grown-up. Carter looks like a totally different person sometimes.
It's kind of funny, that both of us wound up going back to our new bodies' natural hair color, not just out of "I'm a guy inside and don't want to deal with it", but because it kept us from seeing someone else, or at least some specific other person, in the mirror. Just the idea that we went with what was naturally there to diffentiate ourselves, in a way, from the "real" owners of these bodies.
Anyway, as I said, he talked about wanting to talk to Mark or Eric, or Kate or Jen, like they were his friends but catching himself, realizing that they wouldn't know him. That's nothing, I reminded him - I not only dated my old best friend because I had some twisted idea that it would get me my old body back, but I actually made it a physical relationship when I got worried about losing him. And our usual double-date partner was another close friend. And then there was the time I practically rubbed my boobs in Maggie's new boyfriend's face to try to make her jealous. He shook his head, unable to imagine doing any of that. Hey, I told him, despite all the rotten things that have happened to you, you're at least lucky in that no-one has been lying to you, or leading you on that things can go back to "normal".
He asked me if I ever think of telling my Kurt and Wei everything. I point out that I haven't even decided to let the woman who raised me in on the secret, and besides, how do you think Kurt would react if he found out that he had, in a way, slept with his best male buddy Marty, repeatedly? Egos are fragile things, especially male ones. And I don't say this out of disparagement or disdain; after all, I could be said to have a male ego. I told Carter that what he felt when he learned my history would probably be nothing compared to how it would hit Kurt.
He allowed that that was probably true. By that time, we'd reached the theater and had a chance to look at our options.
They weren't quite dire, but we'd arrived too late for Still We Believe, and Troy was already sold out. ("That's fine; I don't think I could stand watching you drool over shirtless men for two and a half hours." Like just looking at pictures, even moving pictures, of men gets me horny) Next up was Mean Girls. We figured, what the heck, he could use it if he needed to fake recent high-school-girl experiences.
Good movie, although neither of us remembered high school being like that. Not just in terms of not having gone through high school female, either; we just can't remember it being that cliquish. Even if people sat at the same tables at lunch, it's not like they had some clever group name or demographic tied to them. It's like no-one in Hollywood actually went to a public school, so they learned about high school from whatching other high school movies.
So, as research, not so useful. Though Carter did ask if it was weird that he still found the girls in the movie attractive.
"Nah; it takes a while for your body to override your experiences. Besides, even real girls have these girl-crush things, though they tend to see those other girls as some sort of ideal they wish they could attain. Or something like that."
It was a warmish night, so Carter figured it would be a good idea to walk home. I warned him that we lived almost an hour away from the Common on foot, but he said he should be able to handle it; he'd been doing nothing but trying to build strength while I was at work for the past couple of weeks. In fact, that's what he'd been doing this afternoon, scouting out local gyms to see what was available. I told him okay, but if he started looking tired, we were getting to the nearest subway stop pronto. And it was a good thing I'd worn flats today.
Anyway, I wound up being glad I'd worn a skirt, too. By the time we got home a little over an hour later, Carter lunged for the AC and we both flopped down on the bed, too tired to even move. I know I'm just not used to working out that much, and he hadn't built up quite as much stamina as he thought. We both wound up falling asleep in our clothes, and he's just waking up now.
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