Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Feeling a little frazzled
Another hectic day at work. All the tech guys are working longer hours, I'm trying to field three times as many calls as usual, and Mark pissed me off.
I don't think he meant to, but he's not the most tactful person under the best of circumstances. Today - and I've got no idea how the conversation got there - he asks if I feel bad about dumping "Carter" just a few days before he died for me. Mark and Dmitri had always been friends, and I guess I hadn't noticed that Carter had been becoming tight with the two of them after the original Carter's mind was switched out. So even though he knows why one friend is dead and the other's in jail, he kind of resents me. So, he's trying to be nice, but he's also a little hostile, even though he knows that they were up to no good.
So I say, no, I don't feel bad. He drugged me, he was complicit in hold a scared girl who's still in the hospital hostage. He didn't die for me, he just wasn't as willing to kill me in cold blood as Dmitri was, and took a bullet by accident. Kate and Maureen came to my defense, but it was just one more thing I didn't need.
Then, when I get to the hospital, Carter wants to know what's wrong, and we've already found that talking about his body's death makes him really angry, so I tried to come up with something, but complaining about how it's suddenly gotten cold after a really nice weekend (which I haven't been able to enjoy) is just lame, and makes me look pathetic. My self-pity is nowhere near as valid as Carter's, right?
And I've got to figure out ways to make this place habitable for two people, when I feel cramped by myself. It's just a bunch of petty little things, I guess, but it's starting to add up to more than I can handle.
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