Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Well, I'm more paranoid than I ever remember being
OK, how can I tell whether or not that girl last night was really Michelle? And if she was, what body is she in? How did she get there? Who else is involved? If she's not, then what is she accomplishing by making me think she is? And are more people in on this, or is this just some girl Michelle paid to mess with my head?
I'm inclined to think it's genuine. While, on the one hand, what she's saying seems too convenient, especially with regard to the "lost time", she sounded right. She sounded angry and scared, like a real person, not an actress or someone being put up to something. What she said about her last night in her own body sort of matched mine, at least in the having a few drinks, suddenly getting tired, and not waking up yourself department. And also, what she said... It strikes me as being detailed but not organized. Like if she'd was trying to misdirect me, she would have been more straightforward about it. Besides, if this was a put-up, how did whoever was doing it know they'd get a chance to talk to me alone? Even if it was inevitable I'd have to use the little girl's room, she bolted as soon as someone else came in. God, if I were smart, I would have buttonholed the person who came in the restroom and asked her what the girl who left looked like. Anyway, this might not be the first time she tried to talk to me, whoever she is, just the first time she saw a good opportunity.
As much as I hated the "witch" explanation, though, it had the benefit of being relatively simple. Sure, it posited other witches with their weird witchy rituals, but it did safely reduce the people involved to two: Me and Michelle. Now, we're up to at least three. And the two weeks between Michelle losing her body (if she can be believed) and me losing mine complicate matters. Someone was in Michelle's body then - I talked to her - but who?
Now take all those questions, add a sleepless night, and guess what I was like at work today. We closed up shop at noon, and only half the folks were there anyway, but I was a wreck. Carter wasn't talking to me.
I could at least eliminate some people, though. Jen never wears heels; she's 5'9" as it is and she once said she outgrew the need to be taller than guys in college. Kate does, but I don't think she was wearing them yesterday, and besides, I spend enough time with her that I'd recognize her voice. Wei, I've known for years, she's not much of an actress. Mags, I figure I'd recognize her too.
So now I'm thinking Denise. I've only heard her speak once or twice. Whether she's in on it, or Michelle is actually in her body (and in my sleep-deprived state, I'm thinking that would be hilariously ironic), it could be her. Or not. Arrgh.
So what do I do with this half-knowledge. I'm aching to confront whoever's in my body. I want answers, and I want the satisfaction of screaming at him/her for lying to me, making me the pawn in some stupid game where I don't even understand the rules for months. But would that be wise? What if Michelle's only in this other body due to some sort of accident and I'd be putting her in danger? If she's telling the truth, I don't exactly owe her, but causing trouble would not be the right thing to do.
What a mess. What a freaking mess.
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