Thursday, November 27, 2003
There's something really peculiar about spending a "family" holiday like Thanksgiving alone. At first, it kind of seems nice - four day weekend, no hassle with travel, or any of that sort of thing. It's Thursday, and if you sleep in until eleven, well, so what? No obligations.
But eventually, you find you can't just treat it like a long weekend. As you walk down the hallways, everything's either unusually silent or loud and boisterous (and smelling like turkey) behind the other doors. Go outside to run some errands, and the streets are, if not even close to deserted, quiet. There may be people in cars traveling to a family get-together, but the sidewalks are pretty clear, and most of the shops and restaurants are closed. Myself, I almost began resenting the quiet - I've got a couple extra days off, but I can't even get a nice meal (one of the things you do today) because there's few places open to eat. I went to a movie earlier, but it was crowded with families, immigrants/foreigners (I hate that word, but I have a hard time coming up with a better one for people who live and work in the US but aren't planning on staying, and "resident alien" sounds even more demeaning) who haven't embraced the Thanksgiving tradition, and other lonely people who have nowhere else to go.
I would have seen a second movie, but I got hit on something like three times today. I suppose there are worse ways to meet people than at an activity you both enjoy, but there was some amount of desperation today. Nothing wrong with trying to hook up because you're feeling lonely, but guys who seem desperate make me nervous. They get a little too intense, and then I just start to notice that most of them are bigger than me. And even if I'm not inclined to see men as predators the way a born woman would, I'm not stupid, either.
But, I am going to go out tonight. Just have to make sure it's casual as opposed to desperate, that's all.
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