Wednesday, November 26, 2003
I wonder what Mom's doing for Thanksgiving this year.
We never had a big dinner, even before Dad died, since we were a small family - I'm an only child of only children, and I wasn't born until my mother was in her late thirties and my father was past forty. There are second or third cousins somewhere, I think, but I think I last saw them at my grandmother's funeral when I was about twelve.
We hadn't made any plans, before Michelle took my body. Initially, mom hadn't been sure how she would like Florida, even though she was going to be living near her best friend who had moved there a year earlier. She thought that she might be back north by winter, maybe finding someplace near Boston. By the time I was planning the move to Seattle, though, she was quite happy down there, and we decided we'd worry about the holidays when they were closer.
I hope she's getting together with some of her retired friends who also have children up here where it's already started getting cold. I can't stomach the thought of her flying to Seattle, or Michelle flying down there. It's kind of selfish - if Michelle can somehow impersonate me well enough to let my mother believe she's still got a relationship with her son, then Mom's not being hurt. That's not likely, though, unless Michelle has tried to get closer to mom since I told her about that call to Kurt. Still, she's my mother, right, and should be able to recognize that Michelle's not really her son! No matter that Kurt, Wei, and anyone else that knew me didn't see past Michelle's body - she's family, and should be able to tell. Right?
Still, what's she got to go on? I'm as guilty of not thinking about my folks as anyone my age, and especially since my body was stolen, I've had a tendency to look at things through the prism of me, me, me. I'd looked at calling her every week as something of an obligation, and it's a habit I'd been able to shake all too easily back in July. Given how little contact I have with her on a regular basis, how can I really expect her to notice something's amiss?
And how much thought did I ever give to how this situation was affecting her? If she got sick, would Michelle fly down to be with her? Would Michelle arrange for nurse's visits or other care Mom might need? She's spry for someone approaching 70, but she moved away from New England for a reason.
Gads, that's almost a circumstance where I wouldn't mind being stuck in this body for the rest of my life with no-one knowing who either I or Michelle really is: If something were to happen to Mom and "Martin" was pegged as being a bad son. I think I'd rather live out the rest of my life as Michelle than have people think of something like that whenever they spoke to me.
Of course, then there's the question of Michelle's family. If she has any. It's kind of odd that I haven't heard from anyone in the past few weeks asking if I plan to come back to the northern New Hampshire town on her driver's license, or wherever else her family might live. Nothing. That's not normal, right?
There could be a dozen reasons. Maybe she's an orphan, or maybe she's just estranged. Maybe so estranged that she would do this to actually not be a member of that family any more. Or maybe they know about the switch and are just giving me as wide a berth as possible. Heck, maybe they know and are spending the holiday with her.
And if not, what's she doing? If she's still seeing this Natalya girl, well, I imagine they've been together long enough that she'd go to their house for dinner by now. And if not, then I guess she's in the same boat as me.
Which is not doing anything, really. I was kind of hoping Kate or Jen would invite me along, but their families evidently aren't the type that take in strays for Thanksgiving dinner, and I'm not that close to anyone else I know. I suppose I could call Jen's friend, but that sounds sad and desperate. I'll probably stop by Shaw's tonight, get something frozen I can heat, and then see a movie or two in the afternoon.
Could be worse, I guess. Carter left early so he could fly down to Atlanta and spend it with his ex-girlfriend's family in a last attempt to stay together. That'll be uncomfortable, and I doubt they'll fall back in love or anything like that. Really weird, though, is Dimitri, whom I gather has spent the holiday at his comatose father's bedside for the past few years. I guess it's sweet, but it's also kind of depressing.
Of course, his girlfriend is part of the black-eyeshadow set. She'll probably find that a turn-on.
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