A little knowledge
Because of the weird 4pm start time for the game yesterday, Kurt decided to record it on his Tivo, so that right after work, we could head over to his house and watch it delayed. One of the nifty things you can do with "Personal Video Recorders" like Tivo and ReplayTV is to record something, and then start watching it from the beginning before the unit stops recording. If you time it right, you can "catch up" by jumping through the commercials. (I miss my own Tivo, by the way)

This creates a weird disconnect sometimes - for example, last night, Kurt and I started watching the game at 5:30, when it must have been the fifth inning. But, as far as we were concerned, the game was happening in the present. Here's the thing, though - if the suspense was killing us, we could fast forward, or jump immediately to the present.

It's a useful reminder that things happen around us constantly, but we don't know all of it. In fact, we specifically choose not to know much of it, whether to preserve the suspense of a playoff game or to delay dealing with a question.

To choose to be ignorant is silly, of course. Consider expectant parents choosing not to know whether their child is a boy or a girl. This serves no practical purpose, makes planning, purchasing clothes, and everything else more difficult for them and their families, and I imagine that the emotional impact of giving birth is strong enough that you don't have to try and enhance it with a surprise. But people do it, because, I don't know, because their parents did fine without knowing their baby's sex before birth and if it was good enough for them...

Anyway, I say this because I got a hit on "Martin Hartle" this morning. I was just going through the motions, since I didn't really have time to check my email and stuff between slipping out of Kurt's bed at six, taking the train back out to Allston, showering, getting dressed, having breakfast and heading back downtown for work. But, I do it every morning, and didn't even think about it before turning the computer on.

Just one hit, in the social pages of one of the Seattle papers. A picture from some function out there, showing me - my body - in a tux, drinking champagne, talking with an attractive blonde in a red dress. The caption reads "local computer programmer Martin Hartle, 29, discusses the Pacific Northwest Ballet's production of Swan Lake with fellow attendee Natalya Tartakovsky, 24, during intermission." It was from the show's premiere September 25th, but didn't make the paper until the 27th, and for some reason wasn't indexed by Google until sometime this week.

I've been sitting at work all day, and haven't done anything with this information yet. Who is Natalya Tartakovsky? Could she have some other connection with Michelle other than just having met her/me at the ballet? Is she well-known/rich/connected enough that who she dates is of interest to the folks in Seattle? Or was it just a nice picture because she's rather nice looking and "Martin" is kind of plain (though I always have looked good in a tux)? Has Michelle always liked ballet, and is this something I could use to find out more about her?

I don't know. And what happens if I find out? Will I want to break them up so Michelle has less reason to keep my body? Heck, what if I find out she's a witch of some sort, like Michelle claims to be?

And, damn it, I'm in a pretty good place with Kurt right now. Not perfect, obviously, but that doesn't mean I want to upset the apple cart, even if by only changing my own outlook.

But I know something now. Which means I have to decide whether or not I want to know more.

-Marti
- posted 4:53 PM - - (archive use only)