Friday, October 10, 2003
Bad game early
Clearly, yesterday's comments angered the baseball gods, for the game was ugly from the very beginning. The very beginning, as Gabe Kapler got thrown out trying to steal in the first with no-one out. Why is this team trying to steal? If you can get extra-base hits at will, and the opposing pitcher doesn't have much, it's not worth the risk. It's not playing to your strengths.
That boneheaded move managed to kill my good mood early. Kurt had taken me out to dinner at a nice little place in the North End, and we walked for a while before heading back to meet up with Wei and Jim at The Place. He'd even bought me flowers, which I still feel are pretty useless. We were about to walk into a bar and stay there for a few hours watching a ballgame, and drinking, and all that stuff, so what was I supposed to do with them? I appreciate the gesture, I guess, but it's not terribly practical.
I've learned to pace myself with the booze, it seems. Time was, I'd have matched Kurt drink for drink, but this body's fifty pounds lighter than the one I left, and just can't absorb as much alcohol. So I pretty much alternated Rum & Cokes with No Rum & Cokes, and was able to stand on my own until the end of the game.
(Now, if Grady Little had been as cognizant of what works for his team as I was for what this body can take...)
Kurt was a little lubricated by the time we headed home. It wasn't worth getting on the T, but it was a long enough walk for him to apologize for not being able to use his apartment several times. All, he said, because his male roommate's boyfriend's parents wanted to meet him just like they were a regular couple.
I told him that it was pretty cool, actually. After all, I said, there's no such thing as a typical relationship. What's unusual about theirs, relative to the majority of the population, is just more obvious.
So he asked what was unusual about ours. I was tempted to give him the complete list, but stopped at how he was a college graduate making good money and "Michelle" wasn't, so some might see her/me as lower-class or something like that. He said that was different, to which I replied, yeah, that's the point, and as long as no-one was being abused or hurt or couldn't know what they were getting themselves into, what's wrong with different? "You wouldn't be complaining about 'different' if I asked another girl to join us some night, I bet."
"Well, that's a different different. You got any ideas?"
For a brief moment, I considered saying, well, let's see if your other girlfriend is up for it this weekend, but didn't. I told him it was just a for-instance. Fortunately, we'd gotten to his apartment by then. He kissed me good night, and then went upstairs, while I went home.
Now, I don't want to give the impression that Kurt's homophobic or anything. He wouldn't be living with Dex if he was. But I do think he's too conservative for me to ever tell him the truth about who I really am, or at least not until it's all well behind us. Not for years, I imagine. He's just not ready, and probably won't ever be, unless he gets to have my experience.
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