Tuesday, September 16, 2003
This time, I really mean it
I couldn't do it. I chickened out. Which kind of ticks me off, because I can't remember how many times I've been frustrated to see female friends in a bad relationship not break it off. I used to think it was just something screwy in the female psyche, something about being trained practically since birth to look forward to boyfriends and weddings and stuff like that.
On the one hand, Wei and Jim were there the whole time, and I didn't want to make a scene in front of them. And I'd planned to do it after the movie, but without thinking that the Boylston T stop is right there when you get out of the movie theater. What was I planning to do, break up with him in the middle of Tremont Street?
Thinking about it later, though, that doesn't sound good enough. Maybe I just understood where Kurt was coming from too well. If I could have Michelle during the week and Denise on the weekend, would my first reaction be "no, that's not fair to them"? I doubt it. Besides, if I like going out with Kurt more than I'm creeped out by it and neither expect, plan, nor particularly want anything more from it, why should I change things?
Because Kurt's my best friend, is why. He seems to like Denise, and not only is she exactly who she says she is (so far as I know), but she chooses to go out of her way to spend time with him while I, let's face it, was pushed into this relationship.
This time, I'm really going to do it. I'm going to call him up, see if we can go see a movie Thursday night, pay my own way, and not give him any time between me saying "let's just be friends" and Denise coming in for the weekend for him to argue.
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