Friday, September 26, 2003
Sox & Sex
I don't think there's any reason to read too much into the whole "Red Sox win big game --> Marti and Kurt have sex" thing. I'm sure the superstitious or overly Freudian will look at the past week and not help but notice the pattern, but until last night you could have said movies caused sex.
We were going to go to a movie last night, but the Sox being able to clinch a postseason appearance made us decide just to stay in and watch the game. We invited Wei, Jim, Jen, and her boyfriend over - Kate passed, having a blind date and not being much of a sports fan - ordered some pizzas and beer, and settled in.
Great game - the Sox absolutely destroyed the Orioles, 14-3 with Lowe not giving up a hit until the fifth inning. We yelled enough to annoy the neighbors if they hadn't been doing the same thing, there was lots of high-fiving, chanting "Yankees Suck", all the good stuff. Jim had brought champagne, although we mainly drank it rather than making a mess like they did in the locker room.
(Aside - that seemed to be an awful lot of celebration for being the best team not good enough to win their own division. Still, I guess playoffs are playoffs and emotions often run high at the last home game of the year, anyway)
It wasn't really a sexually-charged atmosphere, although the size of Kurt's living room meant Wei and I spent a lot of time in Kurt's and Jim's laps. There was kissing and tickling and stuff, but no groping or anything. Having one or people who don't know everyone kind of inhibits that. We all got a good buzz on, but it didn't have the inhibitions-smashing effect as last week.
The others left at around eleven; I stuck around, watching the postgame show with Kurt and helping him clean up. By the time we were done, it was midnight and I wasn't sure how late the T ran. Kurt had seen the area between my T stop and apartment anyway, and told me it was okay if I stayed there. It's not a rough neighborhood, but it's not terribly well-lit or anything, so why chance it?
There was an oversized T-shirt in Kurt's bottom drawer, and I felt a twinge of something as I wondered if Denise had used it. Not sure what I felt, guilt, jealousy, frustration, or even amusement. After washing up, I put it on over just my panties, and was sort of amused by how it made me look shapeless up top with my bare legs (it wasn't that oversized) and feet below. I started to head to the couch when I got out of the bathroom, but Kurt had a confused/disappointed look on his face.
Well, his roommate was due back soon, and I wasn't quite cool with lying on the couch half-naked as he walked in, so I joined Kurt in his bed.
It was different, like we sort of suspected we were going to have sex but weren't quite sure. The previous two times we'd done it, we'd started from him being aroused, but this time, I was more pro-active. His kissing me and tracing little patterns on my bottom got me a little aroused, so I started to work on him. I even reached into his shorts and gave his unit a stroke or two, which was, to be honest, kind of gross. Fortuntately, he was easily aroused.
Afterward, we were both pretty spent. He fell asleep first, with his arm around me, and although it wasn't as nice as being the one falling asleep with his arm around a pretty girl, it beat sleeping alone.
Everyone knew this morning, of course, when I came to work in the same clothes I'd worn yesterday. Jen teased me, and I imagine that the only reason Kate didn't was that she was wearing yesterday's clothes, as well. She just smiled and said it had been a while.
I wonder if I'm liking sex too much, though. I can rationalize it, say Michelle's body is heterosexual and trying to resist the hormones and pheremone responses would just be trying to swim upstream, but you'd think being penetrated would feel more alien and shocking. And it does feel that way, sort of, but the rush of good feeling or endorphins or whatever seems to make more of an impression. I'm snuggling Kurt afterwards, and really starting to think of him as a boyfriend. It's like the sex has kicked the relationship up a notch, which is scary. I'm all in favor of love, but just the idea that I could fall in love with Kurt... It makes me feel like a completely different person than I was the last time I sat in Kurt's apartment and watched baseball with friends, a different person inside and out.
Maybe this body is prone to sex addiction, and what I'm feeling for Kurt is some sort of whacked-out gratitude for providing an orgasm junkie with her fix. That's probably too easy an answer, though. More likely, it just can bring two people closer, that it's an active part of a relationship, rather than just a benefit.
And if that's true, I'm not sure where it leaves me.
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