Transplanted Life
Monday, September 01, 2003
Plumbing Problems
Oh, how I wish I had been moving into a new place this moving day.

Some time ago, I mentioned some trouble with the plumbing in this building, causing me to have to go out and buy new underwear. It's been pretty calm since then, but today... Gads.

It started in the morning, when the main overhead light bulb went out. Of course, Michelle didn't have any spares in a closet, under the sink, etc. I say Michelle, but of course, having been here a month and a half (twice as long as she actually lived here), that sort of thing is really my responsibility isn't it? Not that a couple of light bulbs would be enough to make me come to that realization. Oh, no, I would have just gone down to the drugstore and picked some up. However, a half hour later, the bulb in the bathroom blows too.

While I'm in the bathtub.

Shaving Michelle's legs.

Naturally, there aren't any windows in the bathroom and I've got the door closed, so it's completely dark, I'm running a razor over skin, I'm all wet... And does the apartment have a flashlight? You're kidding, right?

Oh, and it smells bad. Why does it smell bad? Because the toilet didn't flush all the way before I got into the bathtub, and now seemed to be backing up.

(Aside: If and when I get my body back, I can't imagine ever looking at a woman's butt sexually again. I'm now much too familiar with what comes out of it)

So, once I get out of the bathroom, I start to make a list of what I need here - Light bulbs, flashlight, first aid kit, plunger, drain cleaner, a basic toolkit (there's not even a single screwdriver here), answering machine, broom, mop... I test the smoke detector, it's busted, so add one of those. The power strip this computer's operating on doesn't have a surge protector. No spare batteries. All kinds of stuff like that.

Anyway, I take this list down to Economy Hardware and get started. Of course, every college and grad student who's moving in to this city today has the same idea, along with everyone else who has a day off to get some chores around the house done. It's madness. Fortunately, it's busy enough that nobody has the time to act like I shouldn't know what I'm doing inside a hardware store. I get my stuff, get out, and start walking home.

It's a lot of stuff to lug, though, and I actually have to stop and rest halfway there. Which ticks me off. This is a half mile walk, and though some of the stuff is bulky, it's not terribly heavy. I should be able to lug it.

Once I get everything in place, I check Michelle's body out in the mirror...

No, let's face it. I've been living here for six weeks, I might as well call it my body. I'll glady give it back when the time comes, but it's mine for the duration. And like the apartment, if I'm going to be living in this body, I'd better take care of it. Not that there's any problems with it, really. Maybe I'm starting to put on a little weight in the tush. And my arms look and feel skinny. So, buy some hand weights, and use them while running.

And hope Michelle's doing the same.

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