Transplanted Life
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
How to track "me" down
I wish I were really good with computers. It seems like a funny thing to say, since it's how I made my living before being in Michelle's body, but I've been falling out of practice. A receptionist only has to really know Outlook and Word, after all, and not very much more than looking up addresses/extensions, forwarding emails, and typing up letters. Even before, though, I was getting sort of specialized. I'd been doing so much Access work that if you wanted me to do any C or Java, I'd have been lost. And I had books on those.

But what I'm really thinking of is the stuff you see in movies - where the guy working from a laptop hacks through lord-knows-how-many firewalls and pieces of 128-byte encryption and traces someone else's movements directly (via KH-11 spy satellites) or by creating a trail via credit card receipts, cell phone records, and all that great stuff. I've got no idea how to do that. And it's not like they teach classes on it that I could take nights.

And even if I do manage to sort through the mess available on the web, I'm more than a little worried about getting caught. Say I do manage to find ways to track down what Michelle is doing with my body, and even manage to go way beyond anything I've ever done and snoop on her cell phone conversations. That's got to be multiple felonies there, and if I got caught (which is pretty likely - I screw simple SQL queries up on a regular basis), well, I'll be imprisoned somewhere, whether it be jail, a mental institution, or - on the off-chance someone at FBI or NSA believes my story - in some other sort of facility for "observation".

I'm going to have to be very careful with this. In some ways, I'm not sure what scares me worse - the idea of waiting for Michelle to just give me my body back, or the kind of trouble I can get into by pursuing it more actively.

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Note: This blog is a work of fantasy; all characters are either ficticious or used ficticiously. The author may be contacted at