Wednesday, August 06, 2003
My dreams have been a source of some comfort for me over the past two weeks. It's the one time when I'm really myself, in body as well as mind. I seldom remember my dreams clearly, but it's nice to have my subconscious reassure me that it's the world that's insane, not me. So even if I fall asleep with my mind spinning theories that I actually am Michelle Garber, but I'm nuts and the whole idea that I'm realy Martin Hartle in her body is some sort of bizarre delusion, when I wake up, I know who I really am.
Last night, though... I was with Maggie in her apartment, and we were messing around a little. One thing led to another, and we wound up in her bed. She was wearing that special nightie she'd just bought, and in the dream I thought she'd bought it for me. Another thing led to one more thing, and soon we were making love. And it was fantastic, my whole body seemed on fire in a good way. Then something just felt, I don't know, wrong, and I opened eyes I didn't realize were closed to see that suddenly I was the one in the nightie, although it had changed and reshaped to fit my male body. I was on my stomach, and I could feel the panties stretched around my ankles, and something else that was like a tactile question mark inside. Like my subconscious didn't know what something felt like. I looked over my shoulder, and there was Kurt, giving me what I guess you could call an organic colonoscopy, all the while calling out Michelle's name.
Cue the waking up in a cold sweat.
I don't think you need to be a professional to figure out what it means - (a) I'm horny, (b) I'm still very much attracted to Mags, and (c) I know full well what Kurt eventually would like to do with Michelle (though I doubt he's actually thinking anal), no matter how much I try to avoid thinking about it while I'm awake.
I tried to go back to sleep, but after that dream, Michelle's body was ready to go, so to speak. I opted for a cold shower instead, which didn't help a whole lot but did at least confirm that the plumber had been around sometime yesterday.
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